We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
