dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
