Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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