laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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