Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
