you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
