i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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