Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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