okay pat passed out under dana's car
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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