this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
