I'm so fucking centered right now
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
