Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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