found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize