Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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