HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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