Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It's Friday. Sex?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
