Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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