not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
