I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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