Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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