She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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