You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
