I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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