I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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