i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
