Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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