Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
