unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
