OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
