I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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