keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
