dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
