Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
