Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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