My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
