so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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