I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
