I'd wear matching sweaters with you
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
