Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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