ugly people sure do ruin things
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
