Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
