it hurts more in the daytime
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
