Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Holy sore nipples Batman
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
