Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
