My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You can't motorboat a personality
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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