you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
