I love black thongs
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
