With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
