I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
