Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
