I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
