I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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