wanna go halves on a baby?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
