he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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