He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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