At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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