I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
