I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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