I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
