Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize